My name is Joanna, but you know me from a story in the gospels. I'm nobody really. I'm just a woman. Nothing. I'm worthless. But I'm in your book. I'm the woman who got caught in adultry. You know. The woman who people wanted to stone. The woman everybody hates.

The man I was caught with -- the man I thought I loved -- his name's Joshua. My father once told me that in our earliest law, both the man and the woman were stoned to death. We were both guilty. But now people think that the man would not commit this sin unless the woman seduces him, so only I'm guilty. Joshua's innocent. And since he's the person wronged, he's supposed to cast the first stone. I'm talking about my day. I don't really know what it's like in yours.

People hate me. They dragged me to the place of stoning. They spat on me and threw sticks at me and shouted how evil I am. While I was standing there, they even bet on how long it would take me to die. I thought these people were my friends. Now I know different. I really hate them for that.

Joshua picked up the stone. Then all of a sudden everybody stopped. A man came and stood in front of Joshua. And for some reason, I wasn't afraid anymore. The man wrote something in the dirt -- I don't know what. Then he stood up, looked straight at Joshua and said, "Let him that is without sin cast the first stone." Then, he stepped aside and looked at me.

Joshua looked at me. Then he dropped the stone and walked away. Then slowly everybody left, except the stranger. It's like Joshua took responsibility. Everyone took responsibility. The stranger came to me then and told me to go and sin no more.

Joshua took responsibility. I think I have to take responsibility too. I don't think I'm gonna hate those people. I'm not gonna hate the law. I just won't do it again.

Oh God! My God! I'm not worthless! I am a human being! I am a woman! My living makes a difference in the world! I don't understand it, but it does. Oh thank God!

Copyright 1996 Debra Bruch