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Third World: The Talk Show by Debra Bruch
5 people:
(Set-up: Set four chairs in a semi-circle.)
HOST: Hello! I'm ___________ and welcome to Third World: The Talk Show. We have some very special guests this morning. All of these people are from the Third World, and we've brought them here to talk about what it's like living in the Third World. Asa, you are from . . . ? ASA: My name is Asa Narombi, and I'm from Nigeria. HOST: That's in Africa, isn't it? ASA: Yes it is. HOST: And Africa is, uh, west of Iraq? ASA: Yes. Africa is a continent that carries a wealth of different people and customs. Our land is rich with animals. HOST: But . . . you're a Third World country aren't you? ASA: We are called Third World by people who consider themselves to be First World. HOST: But -- don't you have problems? ASA: Yes, of course we have problems. In Ethiopia our children are starving. In South Africa, our people are being killed. HOST: But don't you want to do something about it? ASA: What kind of a question is this? Of course I want to do something about. I'd also like for you to do something about it. HOST: Well . . . let's meet our next guest. ASA: No! No! Wait a minute! I want to explain something that we've learned to do over here. SALLY: What's that, Mr. Narombi? ASA: I want to tell you a true story about two villages. You see, one village was by the river and another village was far from the water. Well, the two villages didn't like each other. Both villages were rich. But the drought came and the village far from water suffered and grew poor. You see, unlike the village near the river, they knew how to build irrigation ditches. But the drought got too bad. They couldn't grow their crops. They asked the village by the river to help them, but they didn't. So they decided to hunt so they would not starve. Their lives changed, but they didn't starve. But the drought didn't stop and the river began to dry up even more. The village by the river began to be poor. But the hard times didn't stop there. The animals went somewhere else, because animals need water too. So both villages became poor and people began to starve. Finally, the elders of the villages decided to get together. They knew that the only way to survive was to combine villages. The village far from water taught the village by the river to build irrigation ditches. And, together, they could hunt enough to not starve until their crops came in and until the drought ended. HOST: (Pause.) So what's your point? ASA: I ask you to help us now. Help us now, and maybe your drought will not come. Maybe both our children will not grow up in fear. HOST: Yes, well, thank you Asa. Our next guest tonight is from Australia. Hello! Or is it Gidday, let's put it on the barbe, heh, heh, heh. TIMORA: Hello! My name is Timora. HOST: I thought that you were an Aborigine. TIMORA: Well, my ancestors are Australian Aborigines. HOST: So why aren't you black? TIMORA: Excuse me? HOST: I thought that Aborigines were black. But you don't look black to me. TIMORA: Well, all of that is in our history. ASA: Yes, I've heard that your history is interesting and important. HOST: Yes, yes, um, tell us something interesting. TIMORA: When the white settlers came, we were shot. And those people who were not shot were put into slavery. Is that interesting to you? HOST: Well, yes. You were slaves like the black people in this country? TIMORA: Not exactly. But the owner used our women when he wanted. HOST: You mean, the white . . . and black. . . . TIMORA: Yes. And the more it happened, the whiter we got. HOST: Well, then you could live like white folks. TIMORA: No, not exactly. You see, in the early 1900s, a man named Neville was supposed to protect the Aborigines through a government agency. But he didn't protect us. If anyone had any white blood in them, they were taken away from their mothers and raised in orphan homes. SALLY: You mean they took the children away from their mothers? Legally? TIMORA: Yes. SALLY: Why? TIMORA: Because black people weren't considered fit mothers to raise anyone with white blood in them. SALLY: That's terrible. TIMORA: Yes, it was. We couldn't stop the white man from raping our women, and then they took our children away. ASA: So what happened? TIMORA: Well, things eventually changed so we could keep our children, but it's been a real struggle for us. In 1940, the Australian government gave us citizenship papers to tell us that we were Australians. ASA: Did everyone have these papers? TIMORA: No, just the Aborigines. We're native to the land. We didn't need papers to tell us that. We called them dogtags. So the struggle goes on. It seems to take a long time. HOST: Yes it does. Yes it does. Well, that was certainly interesting. Let's move on to our last guest. Hello! You must be Sally. SALLY: Yes. My name is Sally Jansen. HOST: And what third world country are you from? SALLY: Peoria. HOST: Peoria? SALLY: Yes. Peoria, Illinois. I'm a housewife. HOST: (Blows up. Stands.) Okay! That's it! Stop the tape. Just stop the tape!! Where's the Producer? Hey __________ ! Get over here! PRODUCER: (Enters.) What? HOST: What's going on here? We're talking about third world countries and we have a housewife from Peoria for cryin' out loud! PRODUCER: Yes, well, heh, heh, it seems like there's been a mix-up. HOST: No kidding. PRODUCER: Well, I just didn't know what third world meant I guess. I thought it meant anybody who's been oppressed. HOST: A housewife from Peoria is oppressed? SALLY: Yes, we have been! HOST: Oh! This is ridiculous! Now I can see Australia as a third world --- PRODUCER: Well, actually, Australia is one of the most innovative countries in the world. HOST: You have got to be the stupidest person I'm ever met! SALLY: Look, you've been abusive ever since we started. And I'm tired of it. HOST: Stay out of it. SALLY: No, I won't! Now you stop putting people down. HOST: Hey, who are you to tell me what to do? You're a . . . a housewife from Peoria! That's almost as bad as Saginaw, Michigan! (The PRODUCER exits.) ASA: It seems to me that a person who can't see a country as third world is pretty smart. HOST: Oh, you're not even from this country. I'm surprised that you can even speak English. ASA: Many people outside of this country are required to learn a foreign language. How about you? HOST: I don't need to learn a foreign language. I already speak English! SALLY: I don't know who's worse off, you or us. HOST: What do you mean? SALLY: I mean being oppressed. HOST: And you've been oppressed? SALLY: Yes. HOST: How? SALLY: Hey! People see me as just a housewife! They treat me like raising my children isn't work! They treat me like I'm stupid. Last week I wanted to extend our insurance policy. So my husband and I went to the agent. I asked the questions, but the agent wouldn't even look at me! He talked to my husband like I couldn't understand anything! TIMORA: So what happened? SALLY: My husband signed an extension! But what's really bad is that my husband didn't even notice what was going on! TIMORA: Did you tell him? SALLY: Yes, I did. And when he looked back, he agreed. But, I'll tell you, it's really hard making people aware of what's going on when they don't experience it themselves! My sister is single, and people treat her like she's either a child, she's stupid, or she's a disease that nobody wants to touch -- or trust. HOST: Why, what's wrong with her? (The PRODUCER enters.) SALLY: Nothing's wrong with her! HOST: Yeah, well, she is single, after all. PRODUCER: Excuse me. HOST: What? What is it? PRODUCER: You're fired. HOST: What? PRODUCER: You're fired. HOST: You can't fire me! PRODUCER: I didn't. I got called into the office. You see that mirror right over there? It seems as if the Vice-President watched you this morning. And now you're fired. HOST: On what grounds? PRODUCER: Abusive attitude toward guests. HOST: Well . . . well . . . fine. I don't care. I can go anywhere I want. I'm not worried. I can get a job anywhere. (HOST exits.) PRODUCER: Yeah, she probably can. . . . Too bad. . . . Thank you for coming. I'm sorry about all of this. ASA: I'm just glad to see that somebody did something about it. Thanks. (All exit.)
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